Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Seeing my little girl having so much fun with her friend Hayden is so fantastic! 2 little innocent little girls frolicking around the house with no cares in the world! I must brag that Angelina is such a great friend! She is so caring, and loving! She would never do anything to hurt her friends, and is always very sweet to them! Fortunately, she has never hit, yelled or been mean to any of them! :) Sometimes kids are like that ya know... mean! Seeing these 2 girls playing with no cares in the world makes me so happy! Until it's time for Hayden to leave... then Angelina gets very sad, and sometimes cries, and says in her cutest voice, "I will miss Hayden, my best friend!" :)
January 8th was a very sad day for me... I had to find my Big Dog, Azlyn a new home.
If any of you know me well enough... Azlyn was like a 3rd child. I had a love for that dog that I never had for any other animal. She was my pal, my listener, my friend, my protector. Now she is gone. To this day (almost a month later), I still cry about giving her up! I miss her so terribly! As I type this, my eyes fill up with tears! I can't stand that I can't see her everyday anymore. I miss waking up to her big face in my face. I miss the sound of "thunder" as she came down the stairs. I miss her great big kisses... some may not understand this or think I am crazy, but others may understand that the real bond between a person and their dog is priceless. I could never put in to words how sad I really am about loosing Azlyn, but this kinda sums it up. I mean, I am still filled with so much sadness over this. I wish everyday that the people that adopted her would call me and say they needed to bring her back. Is that bad? I miss her so much! However, I do know that the people that adopted her are great people, and they are taking great care of her. I really don't think that I could have found Azlyn a better home, so I am happy about that.
My golden retriever is now gone as well... no dogs? What will I do?!?! Having no dogs is so depressing! At times, this house is so terribly quiet it scares me. (yes, even with having a baby here.)
Sometimes I don't even know what to think! I miss her so terribly!! I didn't think that I was going to have this much trouble not having her. I thought it would only take a week or so. I guess it just goes to show that Azlyn held true to her loyalty... she was my best friend. As cheesy as it sounds, I could tell her anything, I could look ugly or be overweight, be mad, sad, happy. None of that mattered to her. I nurtured her back to health. I cared for her when nobody else in her past did. I loved her unconditionally as she did me. That dog was definitely wo"man's" best friend. She was mine.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Oh, my goodness am I thankful! I met a woman while Zoe was in the Intensive Care Nursery at Wake Med Hospital in Raleigh, NC... what a phenomenal hospital, by the way! Anyway. I meet this woman named Christine. She was originally pregnant with triplets, but went into labor and had her babies when she was only 23 weeks pregnant! Sadly, 2 of her babies passed away. Sophia survived. Though Sophia was only given a 15-20% chance of survival, Christine and her husband, Rob stayed amazingly strong through it all! I remember several times watching Christine with Sophia, and I could tell what an amazing person she was/is! I am not quite sure how she pressed on, but she did. I know that Sophia's fighting kept her going every day.
Despite odds against her, Sophia has made it through everything, and is now HOME!!! Christine's due date was only a few days before mine... December 23rd. Sophia is now home, and has been for 1 week exactly! Way to go Sophia! Please read more written by Christine...
We are finally home after 146 days - it feels really good! Just now learning to live on little sleep.
Sophia - Five months and one day old
After being born at 23 weeks & 0 days we proud to say that we got the word. "Our little miracle" will be home by the end of the week. After two hospitals, five major surgeries( two eye surgeries), three minor surgeries, too many blood transfusions, countless needles & IV's our little girl is coming home. She was born into a shell of a baby & right before my eyes as turn into a beautiful baby girl. I have watched this little girl fight so hard for life - just to be here for her Mom & Dad. She doesn't even know how good this world can, but yet she wants to be apart of it. What a zest for life!!!!
The past couple of months Rob & I lives have changed, but for the better. We have seen the circle of life & now know the meaning. We have witness a true miracle & have been apart of it. The day after Sophia was born we were told that she had about a 15-20% chance of living. She would more than likely come home on oxygen & with a feeding time. Well, she is coming home with nothing. We are still praying for the best with her little eyes. Only time will tell.
Through this experience we have meet a wonderful group of people at Wake Med & UNC Hospital. Without the care of this staff Rob & I know that we would not have our daughter. The life of a NICU baby is a life we know nothing about. It's like another world. The pain & suffering that this babies go through. This nurses have become my good friends & I'll never forget the unbelievable care they have shown my daughter. Also, to all the new Moms that I meet along the way thank you, for making each day a little easier. This is amazing group of woman that love there babies. It always helped seeing all of you everyday & knowing what each one of was feeling. We are the last to go home from our group, but will always have a connection.
Rob & I are very proud of the fight that Sophia has done & we know that Robert & Natalie are watching over her. I'm never going to know why all of this had to happen. I'm not sure there is a reason why. I just know my Pop is up there taking good care of them & teaching them a love of the water.
I would like to thank everyone for there support & prays over the past couple of months. We are very lucky to have all of you as friends & family. Can't wait to introduce you to her little girl. This journey(nightmare) is coming to an end & I'm ready to start the next journey as a Mom to my little Peanut.
Rob & Christy
Nobody can understand the life of an ICN parent unless you have lived through it. All of us always told each other as we sat rocking our babies that "we would never wish this one anyone", but let me just tell you... every one of those babies in the ICN are miracles!! While in the ICN I learned so much about babies, and what they go through, and what they need. It was definitely an amazing experience. You form such a tight bond with your nurses! They are there while you're laughing or crying. Through your happiness and your sadness. Those nurses are the core to that ICN. If it weren't for them, it wouldn't be the same. Taking that walk to the ICN for the first time was so very scary! Seeing your baby, whom was just in your stomach kicking and thriving is now hooked up to ventilators, nasal cannulas, IV bags, feeding tubes, pulse ox machines, heart monitors, and sometimes there are more tubes than that! See other women's babies suffering, or seeing the babies that weigh just over a pound is very heart wrenching! I can say one thing, though... you form such a bond with the woman in that place! They understand your feelings. They know exactly what you are going through. They are going through it themselves after all. Having that bond with those mothers helps you get through it! I can say this, having a baby in the ICN definitely makes you a much stronger person, and a much educated mother! Having Zoe in the ICN for a mere 5 weeks had made me appreciate life. Appreciate the kiddos I have. Appreciate the fighter that Zoe was/is. Appreciate woman like Christine who had to endure the back and forth trips to the ICN a lot longer than most woman in there! Please read Christine's story...
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Aren't these 2 cute? Sisters. What else can I say? I hope their love for one another is great! I hope they form a friendship in which they can confide in each other, and help each other. I hope they trust each other, and laugh with each other. I hope they can be honest with each other, and look out for each other! Isn't that what sisters do?
Oh! How I love my girls!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
I am pretty excited about this whole thing. Don't ask me why, but I am. I have some crafting things to get done for valentine's day, and while my little babe, Zoe is sleeping away, and my oldest, Angelina is asleep, I need to get some things done. I will post some pics of the hearts that I craft when I am done!